Hey, all. Happy new year! I know it's a little late to say that, but I haven't seen a lot of you recently, and I wanted to send my well-wishes your way. Anyway, now that I've said it, let's talk about something that's happening this week, something big. And it's probably been on your radar or news fields for a while now. And you've been probably been dreading it since late last year. Yes, it's the very thing we've been scared of and yet it's happening to us whether we like it or not. CHANGE. What, you thought I was going to say the Inauguration? We'll get to that in a little bit. But anyway, it's change. There seems to be a lot of changes going on around me, and at times, it's pretty overwhelming. Not to mention a bit painful. With all of these changes, there tends to be a lot of growing pains involved, and it can be lot to handle... Especially if they've been coming at you from all sides. In my case, that seems to be the name of the game for this month. You see, I had plans to ease into 2025 with as much hope and excitement as one can muster, but a little thing called life got in the way. It all started when during the first week of January, I developed a scratchy throat after talking so much training someone at my part-time job. It turned out to be the beginnings of a cold that was going around. And I caught it. Of course, I beat myself up over this because I'm usually more careful than this. Due to my illness, I ended up missing some time outside in the snow after the snowstorm we had, and I was very sad about that. And then there was returning to work after a four day weekend (partially due to the snowstorm closing everything down) while recovering from my cold... With the impending summer camp registrations coming around the corner. Needless to say, the first day of sales for summer camps was quite... invigorating. I was training someone again at the reception desk, dealt with two field trips, took over a dozen (or was it million? I lost count after five.) calls for summer camp registrations, ticket sales, and more, and completing comp requests for a student show that was opening up for the weekend. Did I mention I was in rehearsals for a show that opens up next month? Did I also mention that as I was healing from my cold and trying to get rid of the blasted cough that likes to hang around every time I feel better, I found out that my Bible study group of eight years is dissolving due to the leaders stepping down and leaving the church? Did I also mention I'm getting some help with a monologue I wrote and will be performing for an upcoming audition in March? Did I also mention that I had an acting consultation where I am making some big changes and taking some big risks to get my career to where I want it to be? Did I forget anything? Oh, yes. I almost forgot. The inauguration. I didn't watch it, by the way. Because with all of these changes, I'm doing something that might be a good idea for all of us (or at least the vast majority of us) to do, and that's protect my mental and emotional wellbeing. AKA my sanity. I'm not going anywhere near politics for the next four years. And that means uploading programs and apps that block certain words, names, phrases, and even controlling the content I see on my pages and internet browsing. Because as you can plainly see, I'm going through a ton of changes right now and the last thing I need to lose is my very sanity! Phew! That was a mouthful. Now, that I've gotten that off of my chest, let's do the next best thing with all of these changes: PROCESS. Obviously, there's so much going on in my life, and whenever that happens to me, especially in the spur of the moment, I get overwhelmed and stressed. And I often need a minute to slow down, compose myself, and breathe. And once I remove myself from the situation, I find an outlet to process everything that's happened. Prior to this year, I usually find myself venting on social media with everything that's going on, and that would get me into trouble. Mainly with regretting my actions for the next few days. Or getting a gentle (or harsh) scolding from someone in my community. Nowadays, I don't share so much of what's going on every single day to the general public on social media, but only within my closest friends and neighbors. There are just some things you don't need to share with everyone. If anyone wants to get the details, they know how to text me or message me. But nowadays, I've been practicing the art of setting boundaries, which means allowing myself to feel all of the emotions and navigating through everything that's happened... BEFORE I send a response on social media. I may not even do that at all, if I choose. It took me a long time to get to this point, and while I feel regret for not doing this sooner, I also feel pride in establishing those boundaries. I don't have to take what some random stranger says to me about a post or look through hot-button topics or comments or even let some of the posts get to me in a negative way. I can just take care of me, myself, and I... And make sure that I'm the one that's doing okay. I'm starting to see that my mental and emotional wellbeing matters, and social media doesn't have to be my life like it used to be. And there are just some things about my life that I won't share as much, not even the hopes of an upcoming audition. Not everyone in the world needs to know every single thing about me, not like they used to. Sometimes, taking care of you means making sure your wellbeing is at the forefront of your life, and that includes social media. The internet can be a scary place, and not everyone's intentions for reaching out to you may be in your best interests. It could be for the person's (or bot's) gain. And you have to be careful of what you post and who you interact with, especially when you vent. It's okay to release a lot of emotions after a rough day, week, month, or year... Just don't go overboard in sharing too much. Or better yet, if you've recently just gotten hurt or stressed over something, don't post about it right away, even if it's detailed. You have to be the one in control of your wellbeing on social media, and how much you can or cannot handle on the respective Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Bluesky, TikTok, and Threads platforms. And sometimes when you're processing so much, it may mean saying no to what you want or don't want to share. I get it - you want to connect with your audience in some way. But that doesn't mean you have to share your whole life story with the world! Not everyone may want to know every little piece of your life, or even revel in your successes. Like I said earlier, there are people out who don't have your best interests at heart, and will hurt you even more. You have a choice - You can either put up with their comments, suggestive or offensive posts, or even the depressing images and news content you see on your feed... Or you can mute, block, silent, and otherwise take control on who you want in your lives on your social media channels. Even control on what you'd like to see. Because believe me, not everyone wants to see the news on their feeds 24/7! (If you are one of those people, I need you to slowly put down the phone, back away, and go outside for the next several hours to breathe the fresh air and look at something OTHER than a screen.) Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's process everything that's happened lately... Obviously, there's been some changes at my job that's causing me to take on more tasks. I'm honestly in a place now where I can since last year, and while I can handle multiple things at once, there are still times when I get overwhelmed with it all, and I'm grateful for the slow moments to breathe and compose myself. It was hard to do that the first day of summer camp sales while also recovering from a cold and doing some training and selling tickets. That's why I gave myself permission to not look at my screen or my emails for several hours to just let my brain relax. Because there are still some days when I need to take a step back and breathe. Even though I'm getting a lot of help from my colleagues at my job, it can still be a lot for all of us because we're doing the tasks of at least three people. Being short-staffed everywhere you go is definitely the norm this time of year. (Did I mention that several long-time staff members were leaving at the end of the month?) I guess that's why from now until April it will be a busy season at my job. And then there's my church. For starters, we're moving into a new, permanent building! Obviously, it's not as stressful as it is exciting, because this is something we've been praying for many years. Renting a building to use for service can get a bit pricey, not to mention there have been upcoming changes that will make it harder for us to use the space. So it was simply time to move on. Unfortunately, not all of us will be there when we start services at our new home on Sunday. Without going into too much detail, my community group leaders have made the difficult decision to step down and leave the church they were a part of for many years... Thus ending the community group I've been a part of for roughly eight years. This news caught all of us, especially yours truly, off guard. We're all very sad and a bit nervous about what will happen to us. We're not okay with this, to be honest. Many of us are single and young married couples with no children, so the idea of us not being together in a group and moving into new groups that have young children is quite... Disconcerting, if you get my drift. I don't know that stage of life, nor will I ever know that stage of life due to my career and working on myself. And it's going to a bumpy transition into a new group. And it's something that I didn't ask for. I reached out to my leaders, thanking them for their leadership over the years and wishing them well on their next chapter, while also reaching out to the members of the group planning a farewell gift and card for everyone to sign for our outgoing leaders. And then I reached out to the members (minus the community group leaders) again because I had to create a safe space for everyone to express their thoughts as the group says goodbye. I was definitely not happy about this, and several others felt the same way as we all grieved and tried to process this together. If you know me, I was very heartbroken over this, and in many ways, I'm still not okay with this. Imagine losing your family due to circumstances beyond your control, whether they are by blood or by something different. That's what it feels like to me. For eight years, this community group has been my family, and while people have come and gone, this core group was a big part of my walk with God, and they challenged me, inspired me, humored me, and loved me. And I could always go to them when I wanted to because there were there for me, even in the times when I wasn't sure I should reach out to them. And the idea of moving onto a different group where I may not have a lot in common with others, especially families with young children, having to start over to make new friends in this stage of life where it's hard to make friends, especially in this current climate... Scares me out of my mind. I honestly don't know if I can accept my community group dissolving, and a part of me never will accept that. But somehow, putting my feelings out there in the group and creating that safe space made me feel better in knowing that I'm not alone, and that it's going to be a tough transition for all of us. And somehow, I think all of us are not okay with this (and that bears repeating)... But the hardest part is not just moving forward. It's how we can trust God in this time, and how we can continue to be loving to each other and the new members of our respective groups after we've said goodbye.
To me, that is the hardest part of it all.
There have been plenty of times where I wanted to cry, and I did.
It seems like this month has had its share of changes, not all of it pleasant.
It's scary with everything that's going on right now where we are all directly or indirectly impacted.
And there are days when we're barely keeping our head above water, where wave after wave of changes are coming at us, sometimes nonstop.
I think someone put it best when they said that one week of January is like an entire year, but it's only one week.
Of course, the remark doesn't make us feel better when there's eleven more months to go, and we just want things to get better.
Make sense.
Make us feel good about ourselves.
Make things calm.
Make sure we're in the right place, or even with the right people.
Make peace with what or who we've moved on from.
Make actual strides on our path and not feel stuck.
Make time stop so we can breathe before something else happens.
But here's something that's surprisingly comforting:
No matter where we are in life, where we are in the world, what we're doing in our lives, or who we're surrounded by, we're all going through the same thing.
Yes, we are!
Changes happen to all of us, and no one is going through this alone.
We're all in the same boat, and not a single one of us can avoid change, no matter how hard we try.
This year is especially true with a new administration.
If we can find comfort that we're all going through the motions of change together, it should make the rest of this month, or even this year, a little bit easier.
Nobody said change wouldn't be painless or uncomfortable...
It's true.
Somehow, things WILL get better.
It may not be right away, but things always seem to get better.
It may have to get worse before it gets better, but it all roads lead to better days in due time.
I think the part of change that always gets to us is how uncomfortable it is, and we want to run back to what is comfort.
Safe, even.
Need I remind you that the only way we can evolve and transform into our highest selves is through change...
And we have to go through the uncomfortable growing pains that come with it.
We can't avoid this.
Not even all of the executive orders or new laws in the world can stop change, or revert things back to the way they were.
Sooner or later, people will not be happy with complacency or how others are negatively impacted by reverting things back to the way they were with these laws and executive orders, no matter what side of the political spectrum they're on.
So what do they do?
They take their cries to the streets for change.
They sign petitions.
They call their congress people.
They write letters.
They boycott certain products and people.
And they VOTE.
Yup, you can't outrun change, even in politics.
It will come...
And you have to face it head-on.
How else can you grow or inspire others to see your growth if you're resistant to change?
How can you reach your highest level if you don't take on the growing pains that come with change, and how it leads you to a wiser, more confident you?
If it seems like a lot of things are coming at you all at once, you're not alone.
There always seems to be something happening that causes us to be a bit frazzled by all of the changes and new ideas for January.
What makes it worse is that it all seems to be coming at once, and it causes us to second guess ourselves.
Or even quit.
You may even think that all of this change is not worth it to me or my sanity.
And I get it.
Right now, I'm dealing with big changes in my life where I'm constantly having push through without a moment to breathe or even slow down because whenever it seems like I do, something else happens that causes me to spring back into action again...
Or I even make myself get busy just to avoid the growing pains.
But I've learned that it's not okay to always stay busy, or even keep yourself busy to avoid slowing down and taking the time to think about everything.
Maybe that's the one thing we need to do the most this month, and have it be a springboard for the rest of the year:
SLOW DOWN.
There is simply just way too much going on in our lives right now, and we're getting overwhelmed and bogged down by the constant barrage of news on TV, online, and everywhere else we get the news.
Add some personal happenings that may throw your life for a loop, it's a recipe for burnout... or a mental breakdown.
It's okay to take the time time to stop, breathe, and just be in the moment.
I often forget to breathe myself.
We often feel that once we push through all of our tasks and chores and responsibilities, then we can take that time to slow down.
But what happens if you can't?
What happens if you just have to slow down?
It's times like these when you give yourself permission to slow down.
You have to come first.
When life gets overwhelming, it's okay to just stop for a moment and breathe.
Let it out.
Vent to someone.
Cry.
Scream.
Do whatever it takes to allow yourself that time to be in the moment and breathe.
Your responsibilities and tasks can wait.
Take some time to look for the good and focus on something OTHER than a screen for a bit.
And it can be as long as you want it to be.
One thing I've been doing lately is setting up automatic away messages on my email when I need to take a breather from emails, sometimes for the sake of my health.
You don't need a reason to do this, by the way. Nor do you have to explain why you're stepping away (you can if you want to).
Slowing down is good for your health.
It helps put things into perspective, and it allows you to feel all of the emotions you've been putting to the side for so long because of the tasks and responsibilities you've been given.
I promise you, you will get them done.
But if you're overwhelmed and just need to stop...
DO IT.
It's okay.
I promise you, it's okay to slow down.
Something else that's helped me through all of these changes is one that I've been grateful for lately...
And that's PROCESSING.
It doesn't take much to sit down and talk with someone else about what's going on in your life, or even going through these changes and the ups and downs with you.
Sometimes, it's actually good to let it all out by having someone else listen to you for a while.
Maybe the best way to be supportive is not to talk so much.
Listening is key in processing everything. And it works both ways.
You let someone talk for a bit, nonstop, even, and then once they're finished, you offer your thoughts and concerns.
You shouldn't have to talk up a storm and pull the focus away from them. That's not being a good friend. Or a good parent. Or a good relative. Or a good neighbor. Or a good colleague. Or a good actor. You get the idea.
But the most important thing about processing is getting it out of your system.
Just talking about your feelings, fears, insecurities, and thoughts with someone else as you're processing everything can do wonders for you.
To me, processing my feelings by talking with someone else makes me feel heard and not crazy that I'm going through so much right now.
And even if it comes down to me crying, just sitting and processing it all makes me feel heard and makes me feel like my feelings are valid.
If they are a bit askew, someone else will tell me in a way that can encourage me, or at least help me snap out of it and get out of my own pity party.
But here's the thing about processing your feelings and thoughts:
You HAVE to do this.
It's the only way you can find a way forward, or at least help you with not feeling so lost without anyone to listen to you and guide you through your feelings and help you make it through this moment.
And sometimes, it may take a lot of processing if there seems to be a lot of things happening all at once, sometimes out of your own control.
Once again, that's okay.
It's even okay to not be okay.
That's a big part of processing everything.
You don't have to bounce back right away.
It may take plenty of grieving for you to get back to your self again. Along with enough processing to help on those rough days.
Maybe that's the key to processing:
You don't need a lecture when you're hurting.
You just need a little kindness, and that's in the form of a listening ear, encouragement, or simply a hug.
When people are hurting or going through so much, it takes kindness to know that there's still good in the world and that hope is not lost.
Especially when it seems like there's a lot being thrown at you right now.
And here's the thing about kindness - it doesn't cost a thing!
So, in the moments when we're overwhelmed and processing it all, kindness matters, and it can be given as often as you want.
Just don't let people take advantage of your kindness.
There are still some people out there who unfortunately view kindness and goodness and love as a weakness.
Don't give them the satisfaction of proving them right.
(For the first blog of the new year, this one is pretty heavy. But it's something I felt like was appropriate for the first month of the new year, and it's one that impacts all of us. Need I remind you that these are all my thoughts and observations, and you are welcome to disagree with me on anything I've written in this week's posts or previous posts. What I will not tolerate, especially in this current climate, is offensive language, disrespect, and intolerance for other's opinions. We have to accept that we're all going through changes together, and even if we all come from different walks of life, we have to accept that we can agree to disagree in a respectful way. And that means looking past our differences. If you cannot do that simple thing, I will block you.)
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared by all of these changes and growing pains going on right now.
Especially when it's all coming at once.
But somehow, I'm reminded by this quote:
People burn brightest when their circumstances are at their worst.
Maybe this season of change is an opportunity for us to shine brightly. Illuminate, even!
And we have to slow down and process in order to be that shining star or burning light that we are to the world.
No change happens overnight. Really, it doesn't.
It takes time.
It's non-linear.
It's sloppy.
It can be discouraging or at times soul-crushing.
It can be a whirlwind.
It can be maddening.
It can be beautiful.
We're not all meant to stay rooted to one spot all our lives. There's a whole world of opportunity and excitement out there, and if all we're doing is sticking with what we know or who we know and not be willing to transform and burn our brightest, how can we ever become the people we're meant to become?
There's no shame in changing who you are and going through the motions of change.
It really will be okay.
And more importantly, you will thank yourself for the growth that change will bring you.
It will be frightening to not recognize yourself after all of the growing pains and hard work you've put in with all of the changes happening within and around you.
But you may also feel something else...
And that's joy.
Even in the darkest times, we're not alone in this thing called change. And once we remember that, we can be sure to bring kindness to others and allow ourselves and each other to shine.
Don't give into stagnancy! Don't stay within your comfort zone!
It WILL be worth it!
I promise...
Before I go, I wanted to give a moment to share that there are some big changes coming this year in my career, and like so many, they frighten me.
I'm finding myself working harder on my craft and actually loving it.
While I can't share much details about what's currently going on, I can tell you that I'm looking forward to some amazing adventures this year in this crazy thing called acting.
And all of the growing pains I'm going through right now will be all worth it in the end.
Right now, I'm slowing down and processing it all...
And looking forward to what's coming next.
I challenge you to do the same with change.
Slow down, breathe, process, love yourself...
And keep moving forward.
It will be worth it in the end.
That's a promise.
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