Oof.
This week was a bit of a rough one.
But not for me, personally.
I'm doing okay.
But it's been rough in a way that always seems to break our hearts and takes us by surprise.
And it seems to be especially prevalent this month since the Witching Hour is fast approaching.
As is the zombies.
As is the mummies.
As is the werewolves.
As is the vampires (No Twilight for me!).
As is creature from the deep.
As is the undead.
But what makes this week a bit more painful is the very thing we are marching towards has been reminded to us in a rather sad way...
In a manner of five days, we've lost titans of the stage, screen, television, music, and sports world.
In a manner of a month, those very people who we've admired, enjoyed, who inspired us, and appreciated us, passed onto the next life.
And that reminder of no one lives forever, even if we think they will, is definitely a wake-up call for those of us on the younger end of the spectrum. Or even the older end.
You see, from the moment we're born, we're marching towards death.
Someone put it best this way in this haunting picture.
We're all in line to die, and as depressing as it is, it's the truth.
We can't escape death, no matter if we find the world's best elixir to keep us young and alive for as long as we can.
And what's scary about this line?
It doesn't discriminate against your age, your political affiliations, your race, your gender, your religious beliefs, or even your weight.
We're all destined to die.
I think the part that's scary is not just the unknown, let alone Judgment Day when we're standing before the gates of St. Peter or the gates of the underworld...
But just how old or how young someone is when they pass on.
Think about it...
There are babies who never make it past the first trimester or even beyond a year for reasons we can never comprehend.
And then there are those who lived for decades who've seen just about everything: two pandemics, three major wars, the integration of schools, women winning the right to vote, the birth of the talking pictures, the first television set, and the list goes on and on...
You'd think they would live forever to see the latest advancements in technology.
But alas, no matter how hard we try or wish it to happen, no one truly lives forever.
Or even believe that they're still alive after giving us so much in their lifetime and leaving the limelight for a more peaceful life.
Death always has a way of surprising us.
Even if we're not the ones who are...
How can I put this?
Insubstantial.
Hey, I tried to be as delicate about this whole dead thing as I can!
But maybe being delicate about this isn't the best way to go about this week's post.
Sometimes, you have to rip the bandage off and take the pain the comes with it.
Dying is scary...
But maybe it can also be comforting.
Because let's face it:
As Bugs Bunny once said:
"Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive."
Okay, okay.
I know what you're all thinking:
Exactly how did this week's post come about?
Well, it's surprisingly not because of Halloween (though I love this time of year), but because of something that happened recently.
We seem to have lost a lot of well-known people in the past month, particularly in the past few days.
Tuesday was especially rough where we must've lost five people in one day, each of them holding a special place in our hearts for what they've done to bring us joy.
In fact, when I shared the latest news of another passing, my mom told me to step away from the news for the rest of the day. This was too much for anyone to bear.
Their deaths brought us much sorrow, especially when many of the ages were varied.
And it was also how they died that broke our hearts.
Whether it was an aggressive cancer...
Congestive heart failure...
Complications from surgery...
Stroke...
Cardiac arrest...
Or simply old age catching up with them...
Saying goodbye is never easy.
Especially when many of these people are held in the highest regard for what they've done to bring us a little bit of joy into our lives.
And it was all because they were doing what they loved to do, what their purpose in life was.
And maybe inspiring us to be better people along the way.
But when we lose all of these wonderful people all at once, even in the course of several days, it can be a bit overwhelming.
Especially if it's unexpected.
Just look at all of the people we've lost lately...
Yeah, we've lost some real titans of actors, musicians, and athletes.
And it's a sad reminder of how we're all marching to where they've all gone to -
To the next life beyond this one.
In case you didn't realize it, our lives are but a small flash in the eyes of eternity.
In the case of my church, we're often reminded at Lent on Ash Wednesday that "you are dust and to dust you shall return."
While that's certainly a cause for alarm, it could also be a cause of comfort.
In one sense, as my church and the Bible reminds me on a constant basis, we'll be reunited with God and Jesus in a heaven where there's no pain, no tears, no wars, no sorrow, no division, and no fear.
All of the natural disasters will be a thing of the past, as will be all of the discord.
We'll be reunited with our loved ones who have gone before us.
We'll be at peace and rest after going through the many challenges this life has brought us, physical and mental and emotional.
It's something to look forward to, right?
Well, as satisfying as that sounds, it can also be frightening as to what to expect in the afterlife.
I mean, we grew up thinking that the afterlife was quite different than what I was recently told.
For many of us, we were under the impression that when we die, we would be all clothed in white, sprout wings, have a halo over our heads, float and rest on the clouds, and strum harps and guitars for all of eternity.
Along with the occasional chorus of angels singing "Gloria in Excelsis Deo..."
On the other hand, Hell is quite the opposite.
There's a ton of flames, everyone wears red, sprouts horns and a tail, carries a spear, and is in eternal pain. I guess that's why they call it Eternal Punishment.
Growing up in the Catholic church with these images everywhere you go can be kind of frightening and soul-crushing in a way.
The idea of going somewhere else other than being here, surrounded by our family and friends, having the comforts of technology, fresh air, a roof over our heads, our furry friends, and more is something that can scare even the bravest of souls.
The idea of being alert, "for you do not know the hour" when your it's time to go is a constant reminder for me as a Christian.
Nobody knows when your time to die is, and somehow living life to the fullest isn't exactly the way to go as a Christian, as some might argue is the best thing to do.
Hoarding things up for you to have for the rest of your life isn't exactly the best thing to do, either.
It was God who told the man who wanted to build bigger farms and storehouses for his harvest and hoards of gold so he can eat, drink, and be merry for the rest of his life, "You fool! Your soul is required of you tonight..."
You can't take material things with you, no matter how hard you fight for it.
And you can't find pleasure in material things, either. They won't be with you for all of eternity.
Which gives me pause because it means that I won't be able to take any of my stuffed animals or headphones or music catalog or laptop or even my books with me to the afterlife.
I'd like to hope that there's a library or a bookstore in the afterlife to check out and read books, or even have the opportunity to listen to music, even if it's a live concert every night. After all, the finest musicians are living it up in the afterlife!
Peacefully, that is.
I suppose I have my pastor to thank for debunking any myths and suppositions I've had about heaven and the afterlife from my Catholic upbringing.
For one thing, we're not going to have wings, wear white clothing, or have a halo over our heads.
Or even strum harps or play guitars every day.
No, heaven is actually going to be much like here on earth...
Without the traffic jams.
Without the hurricanes, droughts, sandstorms, or natural disasters.
Without the wars.
Without the heat and humidity.
Without the road rage.
Without the division.
Without the tears.
Without the sorrow.
We'll be there reunited with our loved ones again, and we'll be at peace.
As for Hell...
Well, it'll be like here, I suppose.
But just a million times worse.
Endless pain.
Endless sorrow.
Endless remorse.
Endless heat.
Endless fire.
In other words, the exact opposite of heaven.
Boy, this afterlife business is pretty serious, and also very alarming!
This leads me to an all-important question that we all to have think about:
How do we live now to determine where we go in the afterlife?
And not just by living in the moment?
Well, the answer is kind of complicated, to say the least.
We can do good by others by being kind, understanding, empathetic, courageous, patient, and loving to others, especially those who are different from us.
But maybe we have to be good to ourselves as well.
Let me explain.
In the church, we're all born with what's known as original sin, and from the day we're born to the day we die, we are all sinners.
The way to combat sin is not giving into temptation, which is a lot harder than it sounds because of the constant sin and brokenness of the world all around us.
And the best way to combat that sin is to repent (change your ways), and ask for forgiveness from God.
That in itself is a challenge when we let our pride get the better of us.
And pride has many forms, it seems...
Shame.
Gluttony.
Greed.
Jealousy.
Bitterness.
Stubbornness.
It causes us to do things against God's will, which may doom us to an eternity apart from Him.
Why is it so hard to seek forgiveness - not just from those we've wronged, but also ourselves?
It's because of our pride, that's the most often disguised as shame.
Maybe if we try saying "I'm sorry" and we don't receive the simple "I forgive you," or even "I understand why you did what you did," or an acknowledgment of how we're trying to change, it can cause us to harden our hearts and even fear that God won't forgive us for all of the sins we've committed.
What we're receiving from earth in people refusing to reciprocate love and forgiveness may be a hint of what's to come in the afterlife, at least in the minds and hearts of those trying to change and repent.
And maybe it's that one time when we say "I'm sorry" where we think it's enough, when in actuality it's saying "I'm sorry" every day and making the effort to change our ways.
That's the one thing people seem to forget to do the most.
It's not enough to do good to others and live in the moment if don't make the smallest attempts to change your ways that are leading you to sin.
And whether you believe in God or not, there's no denying that staying in the same patterns constantly without changing your ways, let alone seeing that the bad habits and harmful behaviors are causing rifts in the lives of your loved ones, can have dire consequences for when you make it to Judgment Day.
If you're not even trying to do right by others by breaking habits and transforming your life for the better, which includes mending relationships and even walking away from those that don't bring you joy anymore, I hope you have a good explanation on why you deserve eternal rest in heaven when you reach the gates of St. Peter...
Because actions speak louder than words.
Along with the forgiveness of others and from Jesus.
(Whew! This week's post is certainly a heavy one, but like so many of my previous posts, these are my thoughts and observations. You're welcome to disagree with any of my reflections, or even offer your own thoughts and interpetations on what I've said. I'd welcome the conversation! On the other hand, I will not tolerate any offensive language, disrespectful comments, or anything that's divisive and harmful to others. We need to be kind to each other, and that means agreeing to disagree with each other. If you can't do a simple thing as that, I will block you.)
There are so many questions surrounding the afterlife, particularly heaven:
Will I get to choose how old I will be when I get to heaven? Will I revert back to my youthful self again when I get there?
Will I see my family again? Especially my ancestors from centuries ago?
Will I be walking on solid ground? Will I be gliding through the clouds? Or even flying?
Will I finally see the face of God?
Will I finally feel peace?
Will I get the chance to be healed from my mental illnesses once and for all?
Will I even make it to the gates of St. Peter? Will I be allowed admittance?
Will I be doomed to Hell simply because of my love of those who may be damned to hell as the Bible says that their very existence is a blight in God's eyes?
Every time I think about this, I tense up, sometimes forgetting to breathe.
It's a lot to think about. Not knowing what it will be like is unnerving to me, quite a bit.
But here's the thing about death, and it comes once again from my pastor.
One of the churchgoers actually saw a loved one die.
And as painful as it was to see this, they were amazed at how they just simply let go.
Their hands just simply released the tension and just... relaxed and rested for eternity. They didn't need to hold on anymore.
It was okay to let go.
Maybe that's what death could be.
It may be just the art of letting go of so much we've carried throughout our lives, and allowing ourselves be carried into the afterlife into much needed rest and joy.
As scary as it sounds to die, that brings me a little bit of comfort.
And here's one more thing that should bring all of you comfort:
I'm not here to force you to believe in God or bring fire & brimstone to those who stray from the gospel.
I don't want to be that person.
You are welcome to believe whatever you want to believe.
Just know that I will do my absolute best to love you, and treat you as human beings with the utmost respect and dignity one deserves.
Just also know that I pray about you and hope that someday you will know the love of God in your own unique way, even if it's not through organized religion.
I don't want to cause rifts for believing in God (or not believing in God), or even make you see things my way.
That's not who I am, and that's not who I want to be remembered for when I leave this life.
I hope to be remembered as someone who persevered, while also maintaining kindness, empathy, a sense of humor, and vulnerability, along with a wonderful career as an actor and a writer.
And I hope that somewhere down the road I won't be afraid to die.
When I've done everything I've wanted to do and lived out my calling, I can look forward to eternal rest.
In the meantime...
I have so much to look forward to.
But I have to be alert and be reminded of my mortality every chance I get. We've got a good glimpse of that this past week when we've lost so many wonderful people in a manner of days.
I don't know when my last day will be, nor does anyone else.
The best thing that I can do is show God's light through kindness, empathy, understanding, patience, hope, courage, strength, humility, and compassion.
And also learn to ask for forgiveness every chance I get - for every action I did or didn't do, every thought, every sin, and every little thing that may or may not delight God.
Living in the moment is a big part of it as well.
As they say, life is a gift.
That's why they call it the PRESENT.
Oh, I almost forgot!
When you hopefully make it to the gates of St. Peter and you are asked why you should be let in...
Tell the angel that Jesus was the one who made it possible.
Because he died on the cross to bear our sins and our shame so we can be closer to God, and it was Him who interceded for you and me every chance He got.
Something to think about.
You are welcome to disagree with me on that, but just know that I will still love you anyway.
And as a special bonus, here's a short story about the afterlife that I participated in during the pandemic.
It's called The Wednesday Train.
Enjoy!
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